she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
