I need help removing her.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
