Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
