Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
