i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
