I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm both gender and math confused
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
