Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
