Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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