I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
