based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
