so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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