Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
