i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
