My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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