The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
