Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
