SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
