i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
