when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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