just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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