Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
