why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
