"it" just moved
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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