so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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