i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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