my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
time to smoke my breakfast
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
And then he peed in my hair
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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