I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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