This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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