Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
