? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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