Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
