i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
