ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
