I haven't been this sober since birth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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