just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
