I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
