Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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