Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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