I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
