1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
