You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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