whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
