Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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