Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I got inside last night via doggy door
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
