Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
