its not stalking. its research.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
