its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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