Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
