Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My life is pants optional.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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