you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
