are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
